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Many Americans may have hundreds of “friends” on social media, but finding actual friends, not just Facebook friends, is like living in a fog, the fog of the post-pandemic society, which seems daunting to so many.
Our nation has been so divided and filled with mistrust and it keeps many from taking risks, from stepping out, from extending a hand, or a fist bump, or whatever you are supposed to extend to show interest and warmth these days.
A study right before the pandemic in May of 2019 showed that 45% of adults say they find it difficult to make new friends. In fact, the study showed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend (statistically) in five years!
The Other Epidemic
There has been what some mental health professionals call an “epidemic of loneliness” in America. Some studies show that most men have less than 5 friends. A poll from early 2023 showed 17% of adults felt “lonely a lot of the day yesterday.” This number rises to over 25% when you look at lower-income households or young adults. Some polls say that three in five adults in our culture suffer with loneliness.
That’s a lot of isolation!
The 2019 study showed the average American has 16 friends. The breakdown was characterized this way:
3 – friends for life
5 – people you really like and would hang out with one-on-one
8 – people you like, but you don’t necessarily seek out to spend time together
While I walked into the post pandemic fog with people in ministry, I noticed these numbers were probably cut in half or more amid the controversy of politics and vaccines of the past few years. It seems that many people have struggled with addiction to alcohol and drugs in the past few years as well. The coping mechanisms that were seldom employed before were now were over used during the pandemic and leading to full on addiction and desperation to find real relationship, connection and meaning in life again.
Researchers have found that people turn to social media when they’re feeling lonely, and it might surprise you to know that people felt worse after spending time on social media. They actually felt more lonely and isolated. Those who responded in the study said that they ended up comparing themselves to others more on social media – which led to more feelings of isolation and depression.
Then when you stack up the aversion to spending time in crowds for fear of sickness, and how accustomed many church goers became with staying in their pajamas and “watching church on the couch on Sundays” – you have a perfect storm of isolation.
I believe that we start slowly dying inside when we fail to interact face to face with other humans, especially with other humans about matters of faith.
While occasional times of solitude are actually beneficial to connect with God, we take time away from meeting with others, worshiping with other believers in Jesus, and take time away from serving others, which can be debilitating to our life and faith.
Psalm 68 tells us that the Lord puts the lonely in families. The Greek word in the Bible for church is “ekklesia” which means the “called out ones,” who gather together. In the church world we use phrases like “getting plugged in,” “being connected,” and “being in community.”
We Must Stay Connected to Jesus
It’s critical that we do this; that we stay connected, first of all, to Jesus, because John 15 tells us that He is the vine and we are the branches, and we get our life from Him. It’s so vital that we pursue and maintain relationships with other Jesus followers. I’ve seen so many people over the years try to live their life on their own in isolation, and they end up getting taken out by the enemy of our soul. The devil is like a sniper who shoots at those who are trailing behind the group or have decided to part ways from the safety of their clan, from their family, from their squad.
A Question or Two for You to Ponder…
When did you last take the chance to make a new friend?
Are you spending time with people who are looking out for you?
Do you have any friends that make you think and grow in your walk with Jesus?
I want to challenge you today to not stay isolated, but to find a family, a group, a people, a church to connect to and receive the blessings in community and be a blessing to others It is there that you will find so much more meaning, purpose and power in your life, as you do life with others and walk with Jesus.
May you walk out of the fog and find friends who will love and support you well in this season.
We invite you to come worship with us at Neighborhood Church in Chico.
Our Sunday Morning Worship Service is at 10:00 a.m. in the Dome.
You can also live stream our service on Facebook and YouTube at 10:00 a.m.
You will find all our blogs, podcasts, and Sunday services and messages on our website ncchico.org that you can access at any time. Sunday messages are under the Media tab. Blogs and podcasts are listed under Pastor Andrew's Corner.
Need encouragement? Text the word Encourage to 530.296.3689 to receive an encouraging scripture or quote from me several times a week that is sent right to your phone.
