Coping with our suffering can be hazardous!
Walking through this human life will expose you to betrayal and hurt. Our hearts ache from the hurtful actions of others and the pain of our own selfish choices. Most of us have suffered at the hands of another person in one way or another… but what will we do with that pain?
The world's way to deal with pain includes “more...”
- Shopping more
- Eating and drinking more
- More TV, Movies, Video games
- More Social media
- More romance or sex
- More substances to numb or distract
- More work & tasks
Sadly, these may provide a temporary escape from our pain, but ultimately will only increase our pain because of the consequences of those choices.
From great expectations to great disappointment.
In 1 Samuel, Michal loves David and is given to him in marriage. I can imagine their life together in the beginning was wonderful. David would play love songs on his harp for her, singing sweetly to her. She was a princess who enjoyed the benefits of her position. Life was good. 
Then her father became angry and temperamental, throwing spears at her husband – the man she loved. She had to choose whether to be loyal to her father or to David, her love. We don’t know what motivated Michal to help David escape from her father. It could have been loyal love, or it could have been selfishly looking ahead to saving her chances to be the queen.
When Michal is given to another man in marriage, was that a punishment for her choice to save David’s life? Is Michal simply a pawn to expend to cause David pain? Was this a bitter disappointment that she was given to someone else in marriage? Did Michal expect David to come back and save her?
Later when David is becoming King, he makes one request - to have Michal returned to him as his wife again. But by the time David becomes King of Israel, he has taken two more wives. How did this make Michal feel? Unloved? Replaced? Discarded?
When Michal is forced to go back to David it says nothing of what she felt, but the Bible describes her husband, Paltie, as trailing behind weeping bitterly until he is told to return home. This husband was clearly devastated … I’m assuming that means he loved her. It says nothing of Michal’s disposition in this matter. Is she glad to be returned to David, who is being made King? Is this what she wanted all along? Was being the queen her ultimate end game?
Saul’s daughter, Michal, was an unhealed victim.
The details of this situation are unknown, but three chapters later we get a sneak peek into Michal’s heart before she slips off the pages of the Bible into the unknown parts of Biblical history.
When the ark of the covenant comes to the city of David, (2 Samuel 6) David jumps and dances in an “undignified” way and Michal is indignant about it. She is jealous that the slave girls have laid their eyes on this husband of hers that she already has to share with at least two other wives. Michal is probably older than these younger slave girls in the street. Her insecurity, possessiveness, and thirst for royal power is bubbling over. I imagine the way that her glory would be fully realized in their culture would be for her to be the queen mother and bear a son who would sit on the throne. Since she was David’s first wife, she probably believed that her offspring would be entitled to the throne. However, the passage ends with telling us that Michal didn’t bear any children until the day she died.
In my imagination, Michal is an unhealed victim. I think this conversation with David in 2 Samuel 6 shows that her love has become jealous and controlling. Instead of trust being a foundation for her marriage, control has become her go-to way of making sure she gets what she feels she is entitled to get.
Fear leads to Control.
Whenever someone is struggling with the need to control things and people – it’s because they are fearful. Fear and control seem to be linked together.
Do you struggle with a controlling attitude?
Here are some hints that this might be the case:
- Assuming authority you don’t have (self-initiates taking charge)
- Inability to admit you were wrong (hiding insecurity)
- Taking matters into your own hands (fear motivates self-protection)
- Difficulty admitting others may know more or better than you (pride)
- Manipulating circumstances (believing if you are in control you are safe)
- Blaming others instead of taking responsibility (maintains a superior position)
Jesus invites us to a place of Healing.
We are all tempted to use control to temper the fears that plague us. The Lord is inviting us all into a place of healing – where He wants to take our fears and replace them with peace and increased faith. At the root of control is a sense that I know better than God what I need and He’s not safe to trust.
If you wrestle with control, get some help from a friend. Confess your struggle, see a counselor, begin getting some prayer ministry and inner healing. If you choose to walk in control, your world will shrink, and your relationships will suffer. There will be less and less joy for you to walk in, and the weight of walking in control will lead to physical problems and social issues.
May we receive the ministry of the Holy Spirit and walk out of our need to control.
May we move past our need to be right, validated and in charge.
May our suffering like Michal experienced be washed away by the grace of His love.
I look forward to seeing all of you who choose to worship with us in the Dome this Sunday at either 9:00 a.m. or 11:00 a.m.
You can also live stream our 11:00 a.m. service on Facebook and YouTube
If you missed last Sunday's message "Lessons From Three Kings: Week 14 - "Loyal Love," click here.
Need encouragement? You can receive a word of encouragement each day. Text the word Encourage to 530.296.3689
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